Dear Friends,
I am so sorry i have been gone for ways to long. With work, school, moving, a new nephew, and boy trouble i have found no time to post. But ya getting back to the diet cause i have been lazy. I did start to drop weight for a little and was doing good until my dog died then i just ate whatever. But that is no longer aloud. So when i get paid im going to go buy a bunch of different low cal salad dressing and just eat a 100 cal salad for every meal until i get alittle more control. Should be 300-400 cal a day.
My back is hurting so bad. no amount of pain killer or heat or rubbing at it will help. Anyone know what to do? I am also going to start doing sit ups as well. Ill start to run on weekends but other wise i have no time. So sad i know.
Really tired right now so i might go to bed.
Anyways lots of love and good luck
-Brit
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Sorry
It's been way to log.
So we moved and i got a job.
So i wake up at 7am and go to school until 2:30 then i go to work right after until 5:30. I get home about 6.
I have all this time to not eat food. and could get away with it. hmmmmmm Idea ^_^
I'm fasting. So easy. as soon as i get home i grab a drink and take a bath get dressed pick up my room get ready for school go to bed. ITS PERFECT!
I don't know how much i weight right now ill check tomorrow though. And when we get the home gym set up ill start running on the weekends. Id run during the week but i don't have much time and stuff. I do have PE this term so that's a pulse. and my job is me walking around for three hours emptying trash cans. Some times their heavy so i get my arms worked alittle too.
I get a new bed tomorrow. Cant wait! its a queen and i have always had a twin so its going to be epic.
-Brit
So we moved and i got a job.
So i wake up at 7am and go to school until 2:30 then i go to work right after until 5:30. I get home about 6.
I have all this time to not eat food. and could get away with it. hmmmmmm Idea ^_^
I'm fasting. So easy. as soon as i get home i grab a drink and take a bath get dressed pick up my room get ready for school go to bed. ITS PERFECT!
I don't know how much i weight right now ill check tomorrow though. And when we get the home gym set up ill start running on the weekends. Id run during the week but i don't have much time and stuff. I do have PE this term so that's a pulse. and my job is me walking around for three hours emptying trash cans. Some times their heavy so i get my arms worked alittle too.
I get a new bed tomorrow. Cant wait! its a queen and i have always had a twin so its going to be epic.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Him
Hello My Dear Friends
May i ask you something. Have you ever had a guy who at the time meant the world to you. You couldn't wait to talk to them. Go to sleep dreaming of them and wake up think about them? Hold your breath at the first hello.
Then have them turn into a monster. Abuse you. Hurt you. Burn you and brake you. Lie to you.
And at first you didn't want to believe it so you stayed. Ignored the bad and remembered the good.
Did you ignore is more then once? Thinking of only the beginning.
Did you finally see the light? When you did, did you leave? When you left did you cry or feel broken? heart blistered? Drunk off of pain and suffering.
Did you ever stair at your phone for hours waiting for them to call?Wanting them to message you like they used to? Call you beautiful and wait for them to build you back up. Did it make you feel sick thinking about it? Thinking "After all they did how can it still love them?" Cause in all truth i still love him. Even though i hate him. I want him to hold me. Even though i want him six feet under. I want him to make my heart race. When i want his cut out and burned.
Is this normal?
Going over to a friends tomorrow. Wish me luck with fasting cause i always mess up around her. I cant bring myself to lie to her.
No pictures to day my computers being slow and i don't want to wait.
-Brit
May i ask you something. Have you ever had a guy who at the time meant the world to you. You couldn't wait to talk to them. Go to sleep dreaming of them and wake up think about them? Hold your breath at the first hello.
Then have them turn into a monster. Abuse you. Hurt you. Burn you and brake you. Lie to you.
And at first you didn't want to believe it so you stayed. Ignored the bad and remembered the good.
Did you ignore is more then once? Thinking of only the beginning.
Did you finally see the light? When you did, did you leave? When you left did you cry or feel broken? heart blistered? Drunk off of pain and suffering.
Did you ever stair at your phone for hours waiting for them to call?Wanting them to message you like they used to? Call you beautiful and wait for them to build you back up. Did it make you feel sick thinking about it? Thinking "After all they did how can it still love them?" Cause in all truth i still love him. Even though i hate him. I want him to hold me. Even though i want him six feet under. I want him to make my heart race. When i want his cut out and burned.
Is this normal?
Going over to a friends tomorrow. Wish me luck with fasting cause i always mess up around her. I cant bring myself to lie to her.
No pictures to day my computers being slow and i don't want to wait.
-Brit
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
upsetting day
Hello!
Yesterday i had no calories today i had about 600ish maybe alittle less.
Anyways i got in a huge fight with my dad. And when he came in to talk to me he would not listen. I hate him. He makes me feel like shit every day. I dont know what to do anymore. Right now my only choices seem to be move in with a another family member or kill myself.
My mothers not as bad. Ya at times she make me want to stab her but its not and everyday thing. I can live with her better then him. She wouldnt be happy is i moved out. It would kill her if i killed myself.
Just dont know what to do anymore. I have to wait til im 18 and even then if i dont have the money i cant move out.
Goals:
Lose 20 pounds befor school
get a job and start saving for a place.
get to 120 before Christmas
Thats all for now
Planning on keeping my cal limit to 450 today and the rest of the week. Next week 400 and then 350 after that. Then im just going to fast.
-Brit
Yesterday i had no calories today i had about 600ish maybe alittle less.
Anyways i got in a huge fight with my dad. And when he came in to talk to me he would not listen. I hate him. He makes me feel like shit every day. I dont know what to do anymore. Right now my only choices seem to be move in with a another family member or kill myself.
My mothers not as bad. Ya at times she make me want to stab her but its not and everyday thing. I can live with her better then him. She wouldnt be happy is i moved out. It would kill her if i killed myself.
Just dont know what to do anymore. I have to wait til im 18 and even then if i dont have the money i cant move out.
Goals:
Lose 20 pounds befor school
get a job and start saving for a place.
get to 120 before Christmas
Thats all for now
Planning on keeping my cal limit to 450 today and the rest of the week. Next week 400 and then 350 after that. Then im just going to fast.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Broken
Hello, Friends
Long time i know. On my period so i have been eating alot. Then again I'm a fat ass so i always eat lot. Period or not Dizzy or not I'm starting my fast. I've been real lazy about it to. I always give in lately. Lost it all with in an hour. Whats wrong with me. Why cant i be strong like i was before. I don't want the food and i know it. But i just shove it in.
Even with a fast id be lucky to lose 20 pounds before school picture day. better then staying the way i am. Ten pounds yes 15 most likely but 20 is a no. Hoping i can lose 25 before mom takes me pants shopping. It will be tight but if i don't eat and work out alot i could lose 25 before school starts I'm going to try and get pants that are alittle tight to so i dong have to worry about getting new pants for a month at lest. I want to be pretty and thin but i dont think it will work out well. think they will know if i lost weight. most likely not. Its ok.
Im moving so i wont be posting for sometimes.
-Brit
PS. This is my new blog for those of you who are from my old one (Alice is me)
Long time i know. On my period so i have been eating alot. Then again I'm a fat ass so i always eat lot. Period or not Dizzy or not I'm starting my fast. I've been real lazy about it to. I always give in lately. Lost it all with in an hour. Whats wrong with me. Why cant i be strong like i was before. I don't want the food and i know it. But i just shove it in.
Even with a fast id be lucky to lose 20 pounds before school picture day. better then staying the way i am. Ten pounds yes 15 most likely but 20 is a no. Hoping i can lose 25 before mom takes me pants shopping. It will be tight but if i don't eat and work out alot i could lose 25 before school starts I'm going to try and get pants that are alittle tight to so i dong have to worry about getting new pants for a month at lest. I want to be pretty and thin but i dont think it will work out well. think they will know if i lost weight. most likely not. Its ok.
Im moving so i wont be posting for sometimes.
PS. This is my new blog for those of you who are from my old one (Alice is me)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Heyo!
Hello Friends!
I have not post in sometime. I'm so sorry.
So tomorrow is day one of my fast. But I'm getting my period here soon so I'm not sure how well it will go over. Haven't weighed in in some time so I'm not sure of my weight. Ill check it on Friday if i don't get my period.
School starts back up on Aug 23. I want to lose 20 pounds before back to school night.Back to school night is when you get your pictures taken for you ID card and your locker and that classes you'll be taking. Iv been using Crest 3D white and its work really well so ill have a pretty smile. I just need a smaller body. I cant wait but i wish i had more time. 20 pounds doesn't seem like a lot. I have at lest 25 days before the Back to School night for sure but I don't know. 20 is my goal 30 is my want. Just got to be really strong these next few weeks. Anyways!
Pretty people!
- Brit
I have not post in sometime. I'm so sorry.
So tomorrow is day one of my fast. But I'm getting my period here soon so I'm not sure how well it will go over. Haven't weighed in in some time so I'm not sure of my weight. Ill check it on Friday if i don't get my period.
School starts back up on Aug 23. I want to lose 20 pounds before back to school night.Back to school night is when you get your pictures taken for you ID card and your locker and that classes you'll be taking. Iv been using Crest 3D white and its work really well so ill have a pretty smile. I just need a smaller body. I cant wait but i wish i had more time. 20 pounds doesn't seem like a lot. I have at lest 25 days before the Back to School night for sure but I don't know. 20 is my goal 30 is my want. Just got to be really strong these next few weeks. Anyways!
Pretty people!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Failed
Intake= 485
Hello Friends!
I did on i was at 403 before i sat in front of some chips.....Wasnt that many inthe bag so i thought "maybe just a little." Ya ended up over 100 calories planed. I burned about 150 cals today.
Tomorrow we are going to aim for 350 again. Also i want to find some tea. Hoping the store and mint or something cause that sounds so good.
Six pictures today to make up for yesterday!
Tip: If you know your going to binge on something take it OUTSIDE to throw it away. Or somewhere you want that you wont got back into.
-Brit
Hello Friends!
I did on i was at 403 before i sat in front of some chips.....Wasnt that many inthe bag so i thought "maybe just a little." Ya ended up over 100 calories planed. I burned about 150 cals today.
Tomorrow we are going to aim for 350 again. Also i want to find some tea. Hoping the store and mint or something cause that sounds so good.
Six pictures today to make up for yesterday!
Tip: If you know your going to binge on something take it OUTSIDE to throw it away. Or somewhere you want that you wont got back into.
-Brit
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Another day another fail
Hello! friends
So iv only been eating about 600 calories a day and the going on a walk that burns about 100. And i gained a pound. Could it be water weight? I'm not sure. So today i had about 450ish most likely less but better safe the sorry and walked around the mall for a good 45 mins (125 cal burned). Tomorrow i'm going to go for 350ish and hopefully burn at lest 250 off before mother gets home.
Speaking of Mother. I found her blog on her computer.( I found blogger before her and have another account but i wanted to start a new one.) Read some of her posts. Its nice to know that im not the daughter she dreams of. She wants a perfect family that goes on bike ride. A daughter who has her friends over more often and spends time with the family. Who goes on walks and eat breakfast with everyone Evey morning. Something that's not me. That i can't be. Makes me feel like i failed. Not just her but everything. I'm not perfect and she doesn't love me as much as she would if i was. It makes me wish i could tell her something. Tell her how much iv tried. How much i cried hating myself for not being perfect. How i have starved and how i have cut. How much i hurt trying to make her happy. Not being able to be myself. Cause if i did I'm scared i would hurt her.
Is it selfish to want to be happy at the risk of other being hurt?
Sorry i cant upload pictures wont let me for some reason. Ill make up for it
-Brit
So iv only been eating about 600 calories a day and the going on a walk that burns about 100. And i gained a pound. Could it be water weight? I'm not sure. So today i had about 450ish most likely less but better safe the sorry and walked around the mall for a good 45 mins (125 cal burned). Tomorrow i'm going to go for 350ish and hopefully burn at lest 250 off before mother gets home.
Speaking of Mother. I found her blog on her computer.( I found blogger before her and have another account but i wanted to start a new one.) Read some of her posts. Its nice to know that im not the daughter she dreams of. She wants a perfect family that goes on bike ride. A daughter who has her friends over more often and spends time with the family. Who goes on walks and eat breakfast with everyone Evey morning. Something that's not me. That i can't be. Makes me feel like i failed. Not just her but everything. I'm not perfect and she doesn't love me as much as she would if i was. It makes me wish i could tell her something. Tell her how much iv tried. How much i cried hating myself for not being perfect. How i have starved and how i have cut. How much i hurt trying to make her happy. Not being able to be myself. Cause if i did I'm scared i would hurt her.
Is it selfish to want to be happy at the risk of other being hurt?
Sorry i cant upload pictures wont let me for some reason. Ill make up for it
-Brit
Monday, July 4, 2011
July 4th
Intake=650
Hello Friends
This is going to be really short just cause I'm stupidly tired. I did OK today i must have burned 200 cals easily most likely more but I'm not sure.
Tip: If you want something really bad then just take two or three bits of it. That way you taste it and your less likely to binge of the whole thing later. Remember 30 calories of a couple bites is better then 3000 calories of the whole thing.
-Brit
Hello Friends
This is going to be really short just cause I'm stupidly tired. I did OK today i must have burned 200 cals easily most likely more but I'm not sure.
Tip: If you want something really bad then just take two or three bits of it. That way you taste it and your less likely to binge of the whole thing later. Remember 30 calories of a couple bites is better then 3000 calories of the whole thing.
-Brit
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I Like Fasting
Hello, Friend!
my one follower! Welcome!
I'm not the best at fasting though. I will be on day two of my fast and my Father gose out for fast food. I will always say "No thanks I don't want anything" and he gets me stuff anyways. Makes me mad! I cant just throw it out and he is going to want me to eat it with him and mom. BUT! my moms on a 600 cal diet. So I am going to try fasting starting monday and see how it works. If not then im going on a 400 cal diet with a burn of 800 cal. (always burn twice the amount you eat or try to).
Fourth of July! Hello Red White and Blue! Hope everyone has a nice holiday.
Tip: eat a salad before every BIG meal. They have little calories and will make you feel fuller faster. I find this one handy for family dinner and stuff like that.
-Brit
(sorry if i already posted a picture new computer and little thinspo I'm going hunting for more to night thought!)
my one follower! Welcome!
I'm not the best at fasting though. I will be on day two of my fast and my Father gose out for fast food. I will always say "No thanks I don't want anything" and he gets me stuff anyways. Makes me mad! I cant just throw it out and he is going to want me to eat it with him and mom. BUT! my moms on a 600 cal diet. So I am going to try fasting starting monday and see how it works. If not then im going on a 400 cal diet with a burn of 800 cal. (always burn twice the amount you eat or try to).
Fourth of July! Hello Red White and Blue! Hope everyone has a nice holiday.
Tip: eat a salad before every BIG meal. They have little calories and will make you feel fuller faster. I find this one handy for family dinner and stuff like that.
-Brit
(sorry if i already posted a picture new computer and little thinspo I'm going hunting for more to night thought!)
Friday, June 24, 2011
The Living Are Asleep But The Dead Still Stir
Intake=1500+
Hello, Friends
I really don't want to start this blog off with a bad day but sadly that is what happened. Family night is always a down day. I can do good the whole week but as Friday swing around I mess up. This will have to change.
Enough with the down. Tomorrow is another day and i shouldn't let one bad day influence the rest of this week and next week. There is a pattern with people who have bad days. Some try to fix it by fasting and messing it up even more. By going from a lot of food to no food all at once take a bad turn on the body. Others will simply think "i already mess up ill just try again tomorrow" and that tomorrow turns into the next day and the next day and so forth. You never really get to the start over until you gain all the weight back. I will tell you that I have in fact done both.
Dose anyone have any books that they liked. Let me know. I'm running out of things to read.
Pretty people
-Brit
Hello, Friends
I really don't want to start this blog off with a bad day but sadly that is what happened. Family night is always a down day. I can do good the whole week but as Friday swing around I mess up. This will have to change.
Enough with the down. Tomorrow is another day and i shouldn't let one bad day influence the rest of this week and next week. There is a pattern with people who have bad days. Some try to fix it by fasting and messing it up even more. By going from a lot of food to no food all at once take a bad turn on the body. Others will simply think "i already mess up ill just try again tomorrow" and that tomorrow turns into the next day and the next day and so forth. You never really get to the start over until you gain all the weight back. I will tell you that I have in fact done both.
Dose anyone have any books that they liked. Let me know. I'm running out of things to read.
Pretty people
-Brit
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Entering A New Life
Hello, Friends and Visitors
It's OK if you don't know me because in the coming time you will get to. Hopefully in this time that you are learning about me I can learn about myself.
Let's start with names. My name is Brit short and easy to remember. I hope to get to know each and everyone of you as my newly found friends.
Next, Whats this blog about? This is my weight loss journey. Let's see...to put is simply I'm fat. Not huge like most American but large. 177 pounds of pure fat. Gross I know. I hope that i can be look on as a good example by everyone. That I can trust you wholeheartedly with the information placed here. I will speak nothing but truth, bad and good.
Now for Pretty people.
-Birt
It's OK if you don't know me because in the coming time you will get to. Hopefully in this time that you are learning about me I can learn about myself.
Let's start with names. My name is Brit short and easy to remember. I hope to get to know each and everyone of you as my newly found friends.
Next, Whats this blog about? This is my weight loss journey. Let's see...to put is simply I'm fat. Not huge like most American but large. 177 pounds of pure fat. Gross I know. I hope that i can be look on as a good example by everyone. That I can trust you wholeheartedly with the information placed here. I will speak nothing but truth, bad and good.
Now for Pretty people.
-Birt
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