Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Hello My Dear Friends

May i ask you something. Have you ever had a guy who at the time meant the world to you. You couldn't wait to talk to them. Go to sleep dreaming of them and wake up think about them? Hold your breath at the first hello.
Then have them turn into a monster. Abuse you. Hurt you. Burn you and brake you. Lie to you.
And at first you didn't want to believe it so you stayed. Ignored the bad and remembered the good. 
Did you ignore is more then once? Thinking of only the beginning.
Did you finally see the light? When you did, did you leave? When you left did you cry or feel broken? heart blistered? Drunk off of pain and suffering.

Did you ever stair at your phone for hours waiting for them to call?Wanting them to message you like they used to? Call you beautiful and wait for them to build you back up. Did it make you feel sick thinking about it? Thinking "After all they did how can it still love them?" Cause in all truth i still love him. Even though i hate him. I want him to hold me. Even though i want him six feet under. I want him to make my heart race. When i want his cut out and burned.

Is this normal?

Going over to a friends tomorrow. Wish me luck with fasting cause i always mess up around her. I cant bring myself to lie to her.

No pictures to day my computers being slow and i don't want to wait.



  1. I honestly believe love is a complicated thing, and you are feeling everything normal.

    I wish you luck with your friend, I have a couple of thoes and it kills me to lie to them.

    Good Luck :]

  2. When i was 15 i was in a relationship like this. I wasnt ready to have sex, but he made me. Before, he use to treat me like a princess, call me beautiful, and tell me i was amazing. I did one thing wrong and he would call me a whore, call me fat and ugly, he would hit me, choke me, rape me. A week later he would apologize say he missed me, come over have sex with me, and take off right away. And the abuse would start all over. My only advice to u, is to please get out of this relationship, it is very very dangerous, and you dont know when he may take his abuse to far and kill you or seriously injure you. No guy should ever ever make you unworthy even if you yourself dont think you are worthy.


  3. The past two years. He's ripped me into pieces, left me for other girls, and he still means everything to me and if often the topic of my posts even though he should be out of my life by now. I die without talking to him. Your blogs awesome by the way :)